There’s no point arguing at night — Tip #37
Postpone it to the next day 💤
I grew up in a household where dinner time was the only moment of the day when everyone would gather together. My parents often worked multiple jobs, so it was hard for us all to be in the same place at the same time.
As I turned teenager, as part of my act of rebellion trying to define myself and my identity, I recall an important step: I would not listen to the TV and focus instead on what was on my plate (this is another great tip 🤓). The reason? I started to feel that most news channels were incredibly repetitive. They were all taking the same piece of crap and sugarcoating it in their own way to appeal to different audiences.
Fast-forward to my adult life, and the equivalent of that chatter and noise became a mix of Twitter (yeah, Twitter) and Instagram. The first is a never-ending stream of people pretending to be smart, jerking off over their witty comments and hot takes to drive engagement. The second is a very efficient comparison machine, constantly reminding me of the countless people who are better than me at something in life and that I should imitate to feel better.
When I started tracking the quality of my sleep, I quickly realized that the main factors affecting it were:
😴 Keep sleep duration consistent: Try to get a consistent number of hours each night. For me, perfection is 8 hours, but I also do fine with 7. Everyone is different on this one.
🌡️ Set the right temperature: Make sure the bedroom is as close as possible to 20°C.
⏰ Keep a regular bedtime: Go to bed at the same time every night.
🍽️ Eat dinner early: Finish your last meal of the day at least 3 hours before going to sleep.
🚰 Limit water before bed: Stop drinking water around 30 minutes before bed.
📵 Avoid screens before bed: Stop looking at your computer and phone at least 30 minutes before bed.
Despite following all of the above, there were still a few nights when I wouldn’t sleep well, and I couldn’t understand why. Guess what? Those were the nights when the last piece of content I had engaged with had triggered me in some way. It could have been a Twitter thread about why your business is not performing, a reel showing aggressive content, war, violence or even something as simple as a hot woman with improbable boobs.
This kind of content can increase cognitive and emotional arousal. In some cases, it may also increase physiological arousal, making it harder for your body to shift into the calmer state that supports sleep. And that is the opposite of what you want when you are heading to bed. I noticed the same pattern whenever I argued just before sleeping with someone, whether it was on a work call or in person. After this discovery, I decided to completely remove social media from the hours before bed (sometimes I slip 🙏) and to postpone any potentially heated discussion until the next day.
As a side discovery, I noticed that whenever I postponed an argument, the next day I often realized it didn’t matter that much. And even when it did, I was in a much better mood to handle it in a way that was actually fruitful for both people involved. If your goal is to have a constructive discussion (with your colleague, partner, parents etc.), don’t have it just before bed. Your biology is not supporting you. Finally one case where procrastination is useful 😅.
Your weekly tip: even if you follow a solid sleep routine, the content you consume before bed can still affect your sleep. Try to avoid social media, triggering news, heated conversations, or emotionally charged content in the last 30-60 minutes before sleeping. Give your nervous system time to calm down.
Don’t forget to send this tip to a friend who spends their evenings watching triggering content or engaging in endless arguments 🫰
See you next week, until then…
Don’t Panic 😱